If you want to get to where you want to go you have to stop protecting yourself from the unknown. Here’s two ways to get there (in addition to last week’s lesson about the unknown).
1) Give Up the Blame Game.
The energy that you give to the things you’re blaming is the energy that wants to be utilized creatively to help bring forth the thing you desire. It’s like saying you want to go to NYC but you get on a train that’s going to Indianapolis instead. You’re on the wrong train!
When you blame “Hollywood,” “the business”, your lover, teacher, parents, employer, agent, manager, casting director, ex, you’re simply creating more obstructions to the thing you really want.
Remove the obstruction (which is basically all of our complaining and whining and fears about things) and you’re left with yourself. So what that reveals is taking responsibility and accountability for where you are and what you’d like to see happen. It can become very freeing to stop blaming people and you discover that those things actually start to assist you rather than fight you.
We have a hard time doing that, though, because it’s easier to stay invested in the things we say we want but actually are very scared of ”“ so we blame someone else for not having them. It keeps us legitimized in why we don’t have what we want. If I keep blaming someone else, I never have to actually look at what’s going on within me that’s keeping me from moving forward. We use excuses through blame to prevent ourselves from taking the leap. It becomes our default, rationalization and ultimately the very reason we don’t change.
2) Give Up the “Wanting.”
We have desires. That’s part of what it means to be human. But what I’m talking about here is this overwhelming wanting part of us (generally based in fear) that can become a suffocating and unhealthy dynamic in our lives. When we want something so much it often prevents it from showing up in our life.
It’s like wanting something on a menu but never placing the order. If you hold on so tightly you can never let go, which is part of any creative endeavor. If you don’t let go it can’t get released. And if it’s not released it’s never going to become something other than this thing you try to control.
It’s an implicit suggestion to the universe ”“ that through our energy, beliefs, dis-alignment, negative feelings ”“ that there’s somewhere in our core a belief we can’t have what we want. So that’s why we hold on so hard. As if holding on to it is going to make it happen.
I can’t receive with closed fists. I have to open my hands.
And breathe. And start moving in the direction of things I can do. It happens by doing. Just do things. Don’t think about doing things. Just do them. And do things that don’t necessarily have anything to do with the thing you want so much. Do things that your heart has been saying to try, but for some reason you keep postponing. Go to the gym. Eat better. Take a trip. Write. Take a pole dancing class. Get off tinder. Get out more. Take an acting class. Ask someone out on a date. Move to a different city. Take more time for you. Tell someone what you’re feeling.
Not only will you start freeing up your energy, you’ll start to experience openings in your life in unexpected ways that may have nothing to do with the things you thought you wanted but perhaps bring you things that are even better.