Our self-judgments originate from all sorts of unreliable sources. They then take roost in our left brains and create a neural groove that reboots itself over and over as our self-dialogue becomes infected with these untruths.
If you’ve survived in any business for any length of time, you’ve probably heard it all.
Hearing something someone says and then repeating it over and over to yourself doesn’t mean it’s true.
Don’t allow other peoples’ limitations of you limit you. Don’t let your own conditioned judgments of yourself limit you.
If it doesn’t feel good – then what you’re hearing is not the truth.
“You’re too fat. You’re too old. You’re too gay acting. You’re ‘green.’ You don’t have any credits. You don’t look like Brad Pitt. You need a nose job. You have too many freckles. Your breasts are too small. Your breasts are too big. Are those your real breasts? You’re too tall. You’re too short. You aren’t leading-man material. You don’t have leading-actress looks. You’re not funny. You look odd. You’re not 18. You fall between the cracks. You aren’t original. You have a weird voice. I wouldn’t know what to do with you. You’re not hot. There aren’t a lot of jobs for your ‘type’ right now. You haven’t done any major TV shows. You’re not what’s hot in the market right now. I already have 10 people who are exactly like you. You’d be a conflict with some of my other clients who look like you. You aren’t unique. You’re too unique. You’re too exotic. What are you? African American or Native American? Are you Japanese or Korean? You don’t read ethnic. You’re too ethnic. You’re not ethnic enough. I’m looking for the next Lea Michele. You’re too much like Lea Michele. I don’t think you’re TV material. You should stick to independent films. You’re not commercial. You’re not conventionally handsome. You’re not beautiful. You’re eyes are a little off. You’re not desirable. All you’ve done is theatre. I don’t like to take risks on talent. I don’t develop talent anymore. I want only established actors. If you haven’t done a TV show by the time you’re 30, you might as well quit. If you were more character-looking I could do something with you. You’re too character-looking. You can’t play character. The market only wants hot teenagers. You’re past your prime.”
Don’t ever subject yourself to anyone or any comment that marginalizes you, diminishes you, makes you doubt yourself or tries to break your spirit
And for goodness’ sake, stop saying it to yourself!
This week’s homework: You are not allowed to judge yourself.
“Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.” ~ Erica Jong